Emotional resilience is the ability to adapt to stressful situations and cope with life’s ups and downs. The word ‘resilience’ comes from the Latin ‘’ meaning to bounce back. Resilience does not eliminate stress or erase life’s difficulties, but it does allow you to live through adversity, handle problems in a resilient way and move on with life without carrying misfortune around on your shoulders. The following tips will help you to handle stress more effectively and develop emotional resilience:
Focus on what you can control. Let go of what’s out of your control. Be solution- focused, not problem-focused. The power you have is in how you choose to feel about things.
Use events as learning experiences. The Chinese symbol for crisis is made up of the two symbols for danger plus opportunity. Be flexible and open-minded.
Alter your perceptions. Don’t try to change others! It is not events which disturb us, but our view of those events, and when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at, change.
Allow yourself & Others to be imperfect. Making mistakes is part of healthy living. Keep going and don’t be discouraged by ‘getting things wrong’. When you are less critical and accepting of yourself, you are more able to extend this grace to others, and to allow them to extend the same to you.
Limit the hostility factor. The negativity and anger we harbor for others are more destructive to the one who harbors the resentment. Be generous and giving in spirit and avoid a negative focus.
Strive for GOODNESS, not PERFECTION! Give up the need to be right. Limit defensiveness. Forgive – both yourself and others. Accept limitations. Let go of “” which make one bitter.
Develop compassion. Choose kindness over being right. Resist the need to be critical.
Develop good self-care habits. Allow yourself “mental health breaks” and “time out” regularly. Take care of needs in mind, body, and spirit. Eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. Pamper yourself. Set limits, prioritize, and delegate.
Don’t isolate yourself – CONNECT! Avoid self-absorption. Seek to understand – not to only be understood.
Trust yourself. Attach less importance to what others think. Resist making comparisons with others, however difficult things may seem. You are in charge of yourself and have choices.
Express yourself. When things seem to spin around inside, or you feel preoccupied, it may be helpful to express things in writing, to a friend or creatively. You may choose to free yourself from unhelpful ruminating by bringing yourself to the present, e.g. by going to the gym, baking, walking, painting, yoga, volunteering, or practicing self-care or mindfulness.
Look for the in things. Lighten up! Learn not to take things so seriously. Develop an ability to be able to look at yourself and the situation you are in and find the in it and/or the learning. is a good coping mechanism.
Cultivate self-awareness. Take time to tune into your feelings and your body. Name your feelings. Notice when they come and why. Think about what’s helpful and what’s unhelpful to you. See where the patterns repeat in your life and look for the lesson that is being presented for self-growth. Adopt what is helpful and look after yourself.
Develop mindfulness. Learn to live in the present. Don’t ruminate on events, which can’t be changed.